The Talented Mr Pringle - Number Two (A short sketch)

Today our DE lovely Mr Pringle is back.

 

 

 

 

A NURSE is sitting at a desk. There is a gown of

a doctor hung near. ABELARD PRINGLE enters DR.

ABELARD PRINGLE

Good morning Miss.
 

NURSE

Good morning sir. What brings you here?
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

The number two.
 

NURSE

Oh I see. I’ll give you a sample pot in a minute, if

you don’t mind.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Pardon me?! Why do I want a sample pot?
 

NURSE

To provide a stool sample sir. The doctor will

appreciate it.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Why? Doesn’t he have a seat?
 

NURSE

Of course he has. I mean a stool... you know... you

told me you came because of the number two.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Yes that’s true. I came in by the number two. The bus

to the town center...
 

NURSE

Oh apologies... I thought erm... Well, you know what.

My confusion Mr...
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Pringle. Abelard Pringle.
 

NURSE

Erm... Abelard? Right Mr. Pringle do you have an

appointment?
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Yes. With Doctor Cough Bottom.
 

NURSE

You mean Doctor Cuffbutton.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Precisely... That’s what I said.
 

NURSE

Erm sure... If you don’t mind I’m going to tell the

doctor that you’ve arrived.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Thank You Miss.
 

NURSE leaves DL. ABELARD PRINGLE sees the

Doctor’s gown hanging, and puts it on just in

time before Mr. Cornwell enters by DR. MR.

CORNWELL is distressed.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Good morning doctor... are you on duty?
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Erm... well... Good morning gentleman.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Thank god you’re free... You see I have a terrible

number two.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

You too? That’s a coincidence.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Is quiet a pain at this time.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Yes I understand. It’s the traffic... It may be

packed.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Oh no, no. It’s really fluid at the moment.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

That’s impressive. I had the same problem this

morning but it was more solid.
 

MR.CORNWELL

You also had a problem with number two? It’s quite a

virus isn’t it?
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

I wouldn’t say so... But it was so full that I

couldn’t even sit, and do you want to know a funny

coincidence, as soon as I arrived to the surgery the

nurse asked me for a stool. Isn’t that ironic?
 

MR.CORNWELL

I know what you mean. (gasps)
Oh goodness it’s coming

again!
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

What?
 

MR.CORNWELL

Number two...
 

ABELARD PRINGLE (CHECKS WATCH)

You just arrived and another one is coming? That´s

interesting.
 

MR.CORNWELL

I really don’t want to think about it.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

It makes you stressed doesn’t it?
 

MR.CORNWELL

I think an accident could happen at any moment.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

I don’t think so. I think you should drink a hot

chocolate. A very nice warm and big hot chocolate.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Hot chocolate?! That’s not what I expected for this

problem.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Trust me sir. You will feel much better.
 

MR.CORNWELL

Curious. Thank you doctor. I shall follow your

prescription.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

You’re welcome.
 

MR CORNWELL leaves DR. While ABELARD PRINGLE

takes off the gown and hangs it up. The NURSE

enters DL.
 

NURSE

The doctor is going to check you now Mr Pringle.
 

ABELARD PRINGLE

Oh that’s good miss. Looks like the number two is

terrible this morning.