43. night FIELD OF BERRIES / TOTOPUK CAMP(sequenced)
ALFONSO
finally stops at what looks like a wooden fence, made of sticks, but
sharp and threatening. Carefully, he lays on the floor to watch, coming
into contact with what he could now see.
On one side, a kind of wooden bridge gives entrance to a plaza containing a large, wooden hut, which looks more like some kind of country house. Perched atop a pillar is a small pile of burning wood. The windows of the house are lit from within. ALFONSO have the intention of crossing the wooden bridge, but when he crawls up there, he realizes there is a TOTOPUK GUARD 1 guarding it. TOTOPUK GUARD 1 is armed with a spear pointed at the tip. ALFONSO did not want to risk it and retreats, always ensuring he is pinned to the ground while crawling. ALFONSO notices the creek that passes under the bridge. Without hesitation, he crepts up there and dives into the water. Carefully, swims under the bridge, only surfacing once he knew he had passed it.
On one side, a kind of wooden bridge gives entrance to a plaza containing a large, wooden hut, which looks more like some kind of country house. Perched atop a pillar is a small pile of burning wood. The windows of the house are lit from within. ALFONSO have the intention of crossing the wooden bridge, but when he crawls up there, he realizes there is a TOTOPUK GUARD 1 guarding it. TOTOPUK GUARD 1 is armed with a spear pointed at the tip. ALFONSO did not want to risk it and retreats, always ensuring he is pinned to the ground while crawling. ALFONSO notices the creek that passes under the bridge. Without hesitation, he crepts up there and dives into the water. Carefully, swims under the bridge, only surfacing once he knew he had passed it.
ALFONSO (Whispers)
Just as I suspected, the two streams are actually one.
Just as I suspected, the two streams are actually one.
The Bright Water goes up to some big wooden boxes, which through some networks, filters the water, leaving the diamonds. After passing through two sets of boxes, which filter two different
sizes of diamonds, the course of the river have an elbow, turning 180
degrees down towards the lake of the ponys. Leaning against a wooden pillar that supports the bridge, ALFONSO can watch while overcasts by the shadow of night. A sort of whistle suddenly sound through the night. It cames from an
excavation in a rock - a kind of cave. Shadows that are almost
imperceptible started to come out.
ALFONSO tries to look closer. He failes to contain a gasp of surprise. He realized that the shadows he is seeing are PONY BOYS. Chained by the feet to one another they approach the wooden boxes that filter the diamonds and start to carry the baskets. Chained in small groups, they fill the baskets with diamonds and return to the cave, closely followed by other tiny TOTOPUK'S GUARDS.
When this group return to the cave a new group came forward. ALFONSO almost screams, but he restrains himself at the last moment. Attached to one set of chains is AFY. She is visibly dejected and have a look of someone that does not fully understand what is happening to her. ALFONSO takes the opportunity to carefully swim as close as possible to the box where AFY is collecting diamonds. When he came up to it ALFONSO whispers to AFY.
ALFONSO tries to look closer. He failes to contain a gasp of surprise. He realized that the shadows he is seeing are PONY BOYS. Chained by the feet to one another they approach the wooden boxes that filter the diamonds and start to carry the baskets. Chained in small groups, they fill the baskets with diamonds and return to the cave, closely followed by other tiny TOTOPUK'S GUARDS.
When this group return to the cave a new group came forward. ALFONSO almost screams, but he restrains himself at the last moment. Attached to one set of chains is AFY. She is visibly dejected and have a look of someone that does not fully understand what is happening to her. ALFONSO takes the opportunity to carefully swim as close as possible to the box where AFY is collecting diamonds. When he came up to it ALFONSO whispers to AFY.
ALFONSO
Afy!
Afy!
AFY pretend not hear him and continues working. ALFONSO calls a little louder.
ALFONSO
Afy!
Afy!
AFY still not answer back. To the
dismay of Alfonso, he sees her filling the basket and then go back down
the path to the cave, without being able to contact her.
Desperate, ALFONSO let himself sink back into the water. ALFONSO is ready to depart when a new group of boys approach.
To avoid attracting attention, he makes himself freeze in order to see those PONY BOYS.
One PONY BOY comes a little closer and surprises ALFONSO, muttering to him:
Desperate, ALFONSO let himself sink back into the water. ALFONSO is ready to depart when a new group of boys approach.
To avoid attracting attention, he makes himself freeze in order to see those PONY BOYS.
One PONY BOY comes a little closer and surprises ALFONSO, muttering to him:
PONY BOY
Afy told you to go away!
Afy told you to go away!
And not to try anything crazy!
ALFONSO is elated; however, he have the good sense to keep quiet. Afy had seen and heard him, she knew he was there.
ALFONSO stays leaning against the Filtrating box, looks around and spots three TOTOPUK GUARDS with their sharp spears. While contemplating what to do, ALFONSO notices some small wedges of wood that held the walls of the filter boxes together. He plunges underwater and grabs a large diamond, and with the help of it, he starts to hammer to push out one of the wedges.
ALFONSO beats it very sparingly so as not to attract attention.
He whacks again and again, until he almost releases the wedge. The wall gives in a little, opening a small crack. The wood creaks a little louder.
One of the TOTOPUK GUARDS begin to prowls. ALFONSO remains glued to the box, practically breathless, trying not to make any noise whatsoever. The TOTOPUK GUARD approachs a little. ALFONSO is nervous now and begins trembling. He let himself sink into the water, disappearing from the surface. For a few seconds, the TOTOPUK GUARD looks around the area that ALFONSO had been in. The TOTOPUK GUARD sees nothing unusual, so he returns to his place.
ALFONSO returns to the surface and takes a deep breath then knocks once and nothing happened. He knocks a little harder and the wedge became a little looser. Another stronger blow causes the wood to crack even louder. The TOTOPUK GUARD looks suspicious again, and begins to approach for a second time. ALFONSO sees him coming towards him. Now without trying to disguise or conceal himself, he throws some hard blows at the wedge using his full force, making a very loud noise.
The TOTOPUK GUARD runs to where ALFONSO is. The TOTOPUK GUARD now sees ALFONSO violently beating the wooden wedge. The TOTOPUK GUARD shouts something incomprehensible to the others. They all turn. ALFONSO, now discovered, continues hitting the piece of wood to fully release it. One, two, three knocks and nothing...
When the TOTOPUK GUARDS are little more than ten feet away, ALFONSO with all his strength, throws a huge blow. The wedge finally came loose, flying around in the air. The pressure of the wooden wall is now enormous and without any force to uphold it.
ALFONSO dives just in time to avoid a mighty thwack from one of the TOTOPUK GUARDS, who keeps shouting angrily at him. In that instant, the water pressure makes the whole box creak. The TOTOPUK GUARDS try to support the walls of the filtrating box. They desperately push the wooden walls back with the tips of their staves.
An impressive shadow appears against the light from the cabin door. The TOTOPUK GUARDS cry furiously in a brutal effort to sustain all the pressure on the walls of the box. Then, with a roar, the walls cave and finally explode into the stream, and the TOTOPUK GUARDS are dragged into the river below.
The thicker boards, carried by the whirlwind of water, hit the walls of the other filtrating box, head on, with an enormous crash. The violent clash blew up the second box, scattering diamonds, spurred by a new burst of water.
ALFONSO swims as hard as he can and clungs to the shore with all his might. With his feet, he moves the remainders of the boxes as they came in his direction, as well as three little men who were waving helplessly, stuck in the full force of the waters. With some effort, ALFONSO crepts ashore and under the cover of night, goes to the cave where he sees the Pony Boys going.
From the door of the cabin, a towering figure comes out. In fact, only his shadow is impressive. With clarity, it proves to be a thin old man with a wizard like look, but with some malicious features. The man is TOTOPUK. He wore a suit similar to that of a medieval knight’s. TOTOPUK is angry, waving and screaming in the same dialect that Alfonso had heard Count Van Forent use.
From several directions, emerge TOTOPUK GUARDS with their spears. They run everywhere wildly. Some dive into the river, trying in vain to hold the diamonds that pass through their fingers.
ALFONSO stays leaning against the Filtrating box, looks around and spots three TOTOPUK GUARDS with their sharp spears. While contemplating what to do, ALFONSO notices some small wedges of wood that held the walls of the filter boxes together. He plunges underwater and grabs a large diamond, and with the help of it, he starts to hammer to push out one of the wedges.
ALFONSO beats it very sparingly so as not to attract attention.
He whacks again and again, until he almost releases the wedge. The wall gives in a little, opening a small crack. The wood creaks a little louder.
One of the TOTOPUK GUARDS begin to prowls. ALFONSO remains glued to the box, practically breathless, trying not to make any noise whatsoever. The TOTOPUK GUARD approachs a little. ALFONSO is nervous now and begins trembling. He let himself sink into the water, disappearing from the surface. For a few seconds, the TOTOPUK GUARD looks around the area that ALFONSO had been in. The TOTOPUK GUARD sees nothing unusual, so he returns to his place.
ALFONSO returns to the surface and takes a deep breath then knocks once and nothing happened. He knocks a little harder and the wedge became a little looser. Another stronger blow causes the wood to crack even louder. The TOTOPUK GUARD looks suspicious again, and begins to approach for a second time. ALFONSO sees him coming towards him. Now without trying to disguise or conceal himself, he throws some hard blows at the wedge using his full force, making a very loud noise.
The TOTOPUK GUARD runs to where ALFONSO is. The TOTOPUK GUARD now sees ALFONSO violently beating the wooden wedge. The TOTOPUK GUARD shouts something incomprehensible to the others. They all turn. ALFONSO, now discovered, continues hitting the piece of wood to fully release it. One, two, three knocks and nothing...
When the TOTOPUK GUARDS are little more than ten feet away, ALFONSO with all his strength, throws a huge blow. The wedge finally came loose, flying around in the air. The pressure of the wooden wall is now enormous and without any force to uphold it.
ALFONSO dives just in time to avoid a mighty thwack from one of the TOTOPUK GUARDS, who keeps shouting angrily at him. In that instant, the water pressure makes the whole box creak. The TOTOPUK GUARDS try to support the walls of the filtrating box. They desperately push the wooden walls back with the tips of their staves.
An impressive shadow appears against the light from the cabin door. The TOTOPUK GUARDS cry furiously in a brutal effort to sustain all the pressure on the walls of the box. Then, with a roar, the walls cave and finally explode into the stream, and the TOTOPUK GUARDS are dragged into the river below.
The thicker boards, carried by the whirlwind of water, hit the walls of the other filtrating box, head on, with an enormous crash. The violent clash blew up the second box, scattering diamonds, spurred by a new burst of water.
ALFONSO swims as hard as he can and clungs to the shore with all his might. With his feet, he moves the remainders of the boxes as they came in his direction, as well as three little men who were waving helplessly, stuck in the full force of the waters. With some effort, ALFONSO crepts ashore and under the cover of night, goes to the cave where he sees the Pony Boys going.
From the door of the cabin, a towering figure comes out. In fact, only his shadow is impressive. With clarity, it proves to be a thin old man with a wizard like look, but with some malicious features. The man is TOTOPUK. He wore a suit similar to that of a medieval knight’s. TOTOPUK is angry, waving and screaming in the same dialect that Alfonso had heard Count Van Forent use.
From several directions, emerge TOTOPUK GUARDS with their spears. They run everywhere wildly. Some dive into the river, trying in vain to hold the diamonds that pass through their fingers.
In mean time ALFONSO is getting
near to the cave where the Pony Boys were. Cautiously, ALFONSO peers
through the entrance. Two TOTOPUK GUARDS guard what seems to be some
dungeons. It is lit by torches, suspended on the walls. Without much
thought, ALFONSO, walks near. The TOTOPUK GUARDS see him approaching
quietly as if it were the most natural thing in the world for a
stranger to walk through the dungeons, even during the utter chaos
happening outside.
Intrigued, they approach ALFONSO, menacingly pointing their spears in his direction. ALFONSO, keeping calm and apparently cold blooded, walks toward them, waving to them as if they were old acquaintances.
One of the TOTOPUK GUARDS, rather bewildered, also waves back and smiles faintly in a rather ridiculous manner. The other TOTOPUK GUARD looks at him completely stunned but keeps the aggressive stance and continues to point the weapon at ALFONSO. ALFONSO carries on, undaunted, towards them. They respond again. Oneof the TOTOPUK GUARDS, still with a silly face and bewildered by ALFONSO’s performance and the other, aggressive and distrustful.
When ALFONSO is near them, he makes a gesture as if greeting someone behind them. Instinctively the TOTOPUK GUARDS turn to see who it is that Alfonso is acknowledging. They see too late that there was no one behind them, as ALFONSO, with a very fast gesture, pulls out the spear from the hands of the nicer TOTOPUK GUARD. With a caning and mighty blow, ALFONSO sent both TOTOPUK GUARDS flying against the wall of the cave, leaving them unconscious.
ALFONSO tors a torch from the wall and enters further into the wet and sharply walled cave, completely fearless.
Intrigued, they approach ALFONSO, menacingly pointing their spears in his direction. ALFONSO, keeping calm and apparently cold blooded, walks toward them, waving to them as if they were old acquaintances.
One of the TOTOPUK GUARDS, rather bewildered, also waves back and smiles faintly in a rather ridiculous manner. The other TOTOPUK GUARD looks at him completely stunned but keeps the aggressive stance and continues to point the weapon at ALFONSO. ALFONSO carries on, undaunted, towards them. They respond again. Oneof the TOTOPUK GUARDS, still with a silly face and bewildered by ALFONSO’s performance and the other, aggressive and distrustful.
When ALFONSO is near them, he makes a gesture as if greeting someone behind them. Instinctively the TOTOPUK GUARDS turn to see who it is that Alfonso is acknowledging. They see too late that there was no one behind them, as ALFONSO, with a very fast gesture, pulls out the spear from the hands of the nicer TOTOPUK GUARD. With a caning and mighty blow, ALFONSO sent both TOTOPUK GUARDS flying against the wall of the cave, leaving them unconscious.
ALFONSO tors a torch from the wall and enters further into the wet and sharply walled cave, completely fearless.
1 comment:
Here I have a very descriptive scene. As I mention before, this was my first big script many years ago. It has many "amateur" mistakes as a script structure presentation. More than 10 years later I look to it and I recognise I did learn a lot since then and one of the most importante things for a scriptwriter is to keep learning everyday, not only in the creative process but also structuring the draft. Check out about it in my old post about scriptwriting books.
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