THE SIMPSONS - The Russians are Comming (Part IV)

Today I leave you with the forth and last part of a speculative episode that I wrote for the Simpsons.

First part can be found here.

Second part can be found here.
 NOTE: This is not official and was just an exercise to Nickelodeon. All the rights of the Characters to Matt Groening

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY

MILHOUSE is putting on a Russian uniform.

BART

What are you doing Milhouse?

MILHOUSE

I’m choosing a side!

BART

What?! You can´t be true.

MILHOUSE

Why not,

Vladi will let me be at school any time I want.

BART

Vladi?!

Oh come on dude.

You can’t be serious.

MILHOUSE

No one cares about me in this town.

Why should I bother?

BART

Mill you know that’s not true...

I’m your friend.

MILHOUSE

It’s too late now.

(to the door) I’m ready!

(to Bart) If you want you can join me.

BART

Oh man...

you know I’m not going to.

MILHOUSE

So you’re not my friend.

I prepared a special show for this school!

I will blow up everything! Goodbye.

MILHOUSE leaves the library slamming the door.

BART

Milhouse stop! Oh Mill...

INT MOE’S TAVERN DAY

MOE is at the microphone. At a long table, VALDIMIR PUTIN and a couple of RUSSIAN SOLDIERS are sat at one side, BARAK OBAMA, HOMER and CIA agent are sat on the other side. Flags of Russia and United States are on the table.

MOE

Question number seventy three...

BARAK OBAMA

seventy three?!

How long is it going to last?

MOE

Hey man... shut up!

There are people trying to concentrate here.

BARNEY GUMBLE is laying on the bar trying to catch the drips of beer that fall from the beer tap with his mouth .

BARNEY GUMBLE

Listen to the man!

There are people trying to concentrate here...

A drip falls and hits him in the eyes.

BARNEY GUMBLE

Ouch! Not again...

MOE

Question seventy three.

Who was the first man to step on the moon?

HOMER (shouts euphoric).
 I know that one!

Neil Armstrong!

Neil Armstrong!

BARAK OBAMA

Hey Homer don’t be silly... it was Louis!

LOUIS ARMSTRONG just passes near the table and gives a High five to BARAK OBAMA.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Hey that was the guy with the trumpet!

MOE

Now shut up! You are all wrong!

THE COMIC BOOK GUY

It was Hans Solo!

MOE
Hu! Hu!

EXT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DAY

Two NINJAS hidden, approach the building. With oriental moves like Jackie Chan they roll over a bush and start to climb the building. Finally they break a window and enter.

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY CORRIDOR DAY

The two NINJAS roll on the floor and hide behind closets. They work very synchronized helping each other with the moves. Two RUSSIAN soldiers appear at the corridor. The NINJAS apply them some Karate moves and put them out. The NINJAS approach the door of the Library. Two RUSSIAN SOLDIERS are guarding the door. Very efficiently the NINJAS put them away too.

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LIBRARY DAY

BART is trying to open the window to escape. The door slams and the two NINJAS enter the room.

BART

Ay Caramba!

I swear I wasn’t trying to escape...

One of the NINJAS shushes him. The other NINJA approaches the window and puts down an explosive charge, they jump over BART to protect him. The window explodes. The NINJAS take a small gismo that reveals to be a rolled cable that they fix to the wall. They grab BART and climb down to the street.

EXT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DAY

The three touch down on the ground and run across the courtyard. One of the NINJAS explodes a smoke bomb to cover their moves. They jump over the fence and run to the park. They eventually stop. The two NINJAS take off the masks and finally reveal themselves as MARGE and MICHELLE OBAMA.

BART
Mum?!

MARGE

Oh well...

I’ve been learning new tricks

with my new best friend.

BART

Oprah Winfrey?

MICHELLE OBAMA
What?!


MARGE

Don’t you recognize Mrs President?

BART

Oh... you mean Mrs Clinton?!

MICHELLE OBAMA

Now... That’s it!

Can we take him back to school?

INT MOE’S TAVERN DAY

MOE is on the microphone.

MOE

...and the winner of the quiz day is Ned Flanders.

NED FLANDERS walks to the microphone.

NED FLANDERS

Hi-dilly-ho! God helped my soul.

REVEREND LOVEJOY stands up irritated.

REVEREND LOVEJOY

Now... that’s cheating!

MOE

If you say so...

(To NED FLANDERS)

Flanders, you are disqualified!

NED FLANDERS

We’re done-diddly-doodily Jesus.

MOE No winner today. I keep the prize money.

REVEREND LOVEJOY

That’s not fair!

MOE

Oh yes it is.

Read the small print next time.

Hey Obama, stage is yours.

BARAK OBAMA

Thank you Moe.

(turns to VLADIMIR PUTIN)

Now is time for you to release the hostages.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

There are no hostages...

HOMER grabs the collar of VLADIMIR PUTIN.

HOMER

Hey! I want my son back...

I want my little monkey!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Hey calm down!

(to Russian soldier)

He wants his monkey.

VLADIMIR PUTIN snaps his fingers and a RUSSIAN SOLDIER brings a monkey wearing clothes like Bart. HOMER embraces the monkey.

HOMER

Bart, what have they done to you?!

BARAK OBAMA

Is this your son?!

HOMER (crying)
 It’s my son Bummer! It’s my son!

BARAK OBAMA

Hey Homie... call me Mr President!

(To Vladimir Putin) Where is the other kid?

MILHOUSE turns at the door.

MILHOUSE

Are you looking at me?

BARAK OBAMA

So there are no more hostages...

guys lets take the school back to the US.

MILHOUSE shows a radio transistor with a big red button.

MILHOUSE

No one is going to take the school

or I will blow it up.

If I can’t stay there, no one can.

EXT SPRINGFIELD PARK DAY

BART is with MICHELLE OBAMA and MARGE who are putting away the ninja clothes.

BART

Mum, you are my hero!

Thank you for convincing

Mrs President not to take me back to school.

MICHELLE OBAMA

Only this time kid.

MARGE

I’m glad you are OK Bart.

MICHELLE OBAMA We need to go to Moe’s Tavern to tell Bummer that he is safe.

MARGE
Bummer?

MICHELLE OBAMA

Better call him Mr President.

BART

Did you see Milhouse?

MARGE

Milhouse was at the school?

BART

No he left before me.

He is going to meet the Russian guy...

BART runs out.

MARGE

Bart wait... where are you going?

BART

I need to stop Milhouse!

INT MOE’S TAVERN DAY

Tension at the house. MILHOUSE is standing menacingly with the radio transistor.

BARAK OBAMA
What did you do with the kid?

VLADIMIR PUTIN
I just told him another point of view...
And I gave him what he wants.

HOMER (to the monkey)
Bart, do something he is your friend.

The MONKEY grabs a bowl of peanuts from the table and eats them in one go followed by a big burp.

HOMER
I love my boy!

MILHOUSE
He is not my friend... He is just a monkey!

HOMER
Hey! That’s not nice!

BARAK OBAMA
Let’s take back the school!

VLADIMIR PUTIN
If you do that
I will send more Russian stuff here!

BARAK OBAMA
What you are going to send?
Balalaikas?!


VLADIMIR PUTIN
I will send you something that you will never forget!

BARAK OBAMA
Oh yeah?!

VLADIMIR PUTIN
Yeah!

BARAK OBAMA jumps over VLADIMIR PUTIN and they start a fight. BARAK OBAMA has the advantage and manages to control VLADIMIR PUTIN.

MILHOUSE
Stop it! Release him!
I’ll count till three
and I will press this button! One... two...

Everybody stops. MILHOUSE is threatning with his finger over the red button of the radio controller. At this point BART appears jumping over MILHOUSE. They roll on the floor. The radio controller falls. Everybody starts to fight. MOE fights BARNEY GUMBLE. REVEREND LOVEJOY slaps NED FLANDERS.

REVEREND LOVEJOY
The other cheek! (slap)
The other cheek! (slap)
The other cheek! (slap).

NED FLANDERS
My turn Rev!

REVEREND LOVEJOY
No way Flanders! I’m forgiving you your sins!

NED FLANDERS
Hi-dilly-ho Hi-dilly-ok!

BART
You are not going to blast our friendship Mill!

MILHOUSE
I have new friends now!

MILHOUSE manages to crawl near the radio controller, when is ready to press the button a soft guitar tune starts playing "What a wonderful world" everybody stops. Under a light aura, appears MALIA. MALIA is on the guitar then appears LISA who is on saxophone playing the song, then NATASHA sings it in an angelic voice while MAGGIE shakes a rattle.

NATASHA (singing)
I see trees of green,
red roses too,
I see them bloom for me and you,
and I think to myself what a wonderful world (...)

Everybody starts to release the others and get emotional while they are listening the song. A rainbow appears then white clouds, birds and butterflies. Everybody with tears in their eyes starts to sing and embrace each other. LOUIS ARMSTRONG embraces NEIL ARMSTRONG (wearing his Astronaut suite, with the helmet under his arm. VLADIMIR PUTIN and BARAK OBAMA look to each other and jump into the arms of each other.

VALDIMIR PUTIN
Sorry Bummer!

BARAK OBAMA
Call me Mr President!

VLADIMIR PUTIN
I’ll call you anything you want.

BARAK OBAMA
Great. Now, take your stuff from Springfield. OK Comrade?

VLADIMIR PUTIN OK... Comrade.

In other point BART and MILHOUSE are close to each other.

MILHOUSE
Sorry Bart... I don’t know what I was thinking...

BART
No problem-o amigo!
I understand. It’s summertime.

MILHOUSE
How about to build a submarine?!

BART
Sounds great!
I know where we can find some extra power.
There are lot’s of Russian rockets at the schoolyard.

BART and MILHOUSE laugh and give a hug.

MILHOUSE You are my best friend!

BART
I know.

MICHELLE OBAMA and MARGE turn at the door. EVERYBODY is still singing.

MICHELLE OBAMA

Looks like they reached something here.

MARGE Isn’t wonderful?

MICHELLE OBAMA

A wonderful world.

We are back to BART and MILHOUSE.

BART
Do you still want to go to school?

MILHOUSE
Na! No one will be there for the next three months.

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY CLEANING CLOSET DAY

PRINCIPAL SKINNER is still sat on the bucket locked inside the closet.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER
Mr Putin... erm... are you there?

CUT TO FINAL CREDITS

THE SIMPSONS - The Russians are Comming (Part III)

Today I leave you with the second part of a speculative episode that I wrote for the Simpsons.

First part can be found here.

Second part can be found here.
 NOTE: This is not official and was just an exercise to Nickelodeon. All the rights of the Characters to Matt Groening

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LIBRARY NIGHT

BART is still sat on the floor. Very bored and sad. MILHOUSE is sat on the lap of VLADIMIR PUTIN who is reading a school book.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

...and that’s why we built the wall.

To protect us from the wild animals.

We built rockets too!

MILHOUSE

Wow! That was amazing!

BART

Are you going to listen to him Milhouse?!

He’s just lying.

MILHOUSE

Oh be quiet Bart!

Just enjoy the opportunity to learn!

VLADIMIR PUTIN (Fake paternalism)

With me, you’ll have that chance

every time you want.

No holidays at all!

Just studying and working,

for the rest of your life!

BART

Oh man,you are crazy!

MILHOUSE

Don’t be a spoiler Bart.

This guy is awesome!

You’re just like that

because I have a new friend!

You are jealous!

BART

No I’m not!

He just trying to convince you!

Look at his grin...

A RUSSIAN SOLDIER passes and gives an injection shot on BART’s back putting him instantly sleeping.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Oh, poor child is so tired.

Now you Mill, you should go to sleep too.

Tomorrow will be a long day! (evil giggle)

a very long day!(large evil laugh) Muahahahaaaa!

MILHOUSE

Oh you can laugh!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Can I? Oh I just get distracted.

INT SIMPSONS’ HOME LISA’S ROOM NIGHT

LISA is with MALIA sat on the bed. NATASHA is holding and playing with MAGGIE. All the girls are in pajamas ready to sleep.

LISA

I’m really happy to have a new friend

but I’m worried about Bart...

MALIA

Don’t be worried.

Daddy said he is OK

and he’s going to take care of your brother.

LISA

How does he know?

MALIA

Well he knows everything...

Doesn’t he Reginald?

LISA
Reginald?!

REGINALD a CIA agent slides from under the bed. He has sunglasses and earphones just like all the security guys.

REGINALD
Well...

MALIA

You can leave now.

I’m having a conversation

with my best friend here.

REGINALD

Sure miss. (to the headset)

Code 56... Dove released.

REGINALD approaches the window, pulls his gun, sneaks the window just like a secret agent, opens the window and jumps out. We hear a stomp and a scream.

REGINALD (O.S.)

Ouch!... I’m ok! I’m Ok!

MARGE and MICHELLE OBAMA enter the room.

MARGE

Girls it’s time for bed now.

MICHELLE OBAMA

Don’t forget your prayers.

MALIA

Mum, can I just say the first five tonight?

MICHELLE OBAMA sighs.

MALIA

Please mum...

MICHELLE OBAMA

OK. But just tonight.

Come on Natasha, come with me.

MARGE grabs MAGGIE and MICHELLE OBAMA holds NATASHA’s hand and they leave the room. MALIA kneels and starts to pray.

MALIA

Section one.

All legislative Powers herein granted

shall be vested in a Congress of the United States...

LISA

I thought it was the Ten Commandments...

MALIA

Of course not.

We pray to the Constitution.

(sighs and goes back to pray)

...which shall consist of a Senate

and House of Representatives.

EXT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DAY

Morning is broken. There is barbwire surrounding the elementary school and a couple of tanks and other military paraphernalia. Starts Patton’s Main Tune. HOMER walks alone in the road, is wearing a classic American uniform. Finally stops. Low-angle, close shot with the red stripes of the American flag behind him. When the angle opens it reveals a Duff beer advertising outdoor. Patton’s main tune stops. VLADIMIR PUTIN comes from the Elementary school. HOMER and VLADIMIR PUTIN come face to face.

HOMER

Erm... (picks a paper from his pocket and starts to read)

Two packs of rice, three bottles of milk...

VLADIMIR PUTIN
What?

HOMER

Doh!... shopping list.

(picks another paper from his pocket and reads)

We demand an urgent meeting...

erm... in a neutral zone...

erm... to discuss the release of my son

and other people... erm and watch the Superbowl together...

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Superbowl?!

HOMER

Well I just wanted to add a personal touch...

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Why should I accept that?!

HOMER

Because the Superbowl is great!

And we can have some drinks too.

VLADIMIR PUTIN
Done!

HOMER

I pick the place.

INT MOE’S TAVERN DAY

MOE is at the door blocking the entrance to HOMER, VLADIMIR PUTIN, BARAK OBAMA and some CIA and RUSSIAN SOLDIERS.

HOMER

Come on Moe... I’m a regular!

MOE No way Jose!

Today is quiz time.

I have questions to do...

and maybe, just maybe

I can spit in some glasses.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Hey mister... I can tell you

I’m going to put down some vodka bottles.

MOE

I don’t care if you are going to drink vodka or bleach.

Quiz day is sacred!

BARAK OBAMA

Excuse me, just let me try to speak with this gentleman.

LOUIS ARMSTRONG appears at the door starting playing "Hail to the chief".

BARAK OBAMA

Not now Louis!

LOUIS ARMSTRONG
oh...

LOUIS ARMSTRONG leaves very sad.

BARAK OBAMA
Mr...

MOE
Moe.

BARAK OBAMA

Yes whatever...

We are trying to protect you.

Starts the patriotic tune which goes in crescendo in the background. The lights dim, and a spotlight surrounds BARAK OBAMA.

BARAK OBAMA (CONT)

...We can work hard everyday

to support our fellow citizens and your customers.

We can provide beer, peanuts and salt and pepper crisps!

MOE

Stop please... you are making me cry.

The patriotic tune stops abruptly, the spotlight disappears and the lights go back to normal.

BARAK OBAMA

So... can we have a nice talk in your tavern?

MOE (EUPHORIC)

Yes we can!

Everybody cheers and shouts celebrating. Blue, red and white confetti falls from the ceiling. MOE turns angry.

MOE

No confetti! No confetti!

Oh damn it... Where is my broom?

THE SIMPSONS - The Russians are Comming (Part II)

Today I leave you with the second part of a speculative episode that I wrote for the Simpsons.
First part can be found here.
Third part can be found here.
NOTE: This is not official and was just an exercise to Nickelodeon. All the rights of the Characters to Matt Groening

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASS ROOM DAY
BART and MILHOUSE are taken in front of a desk with a light pointing to their faces.

MILHOUSE

Wow! I’m back at school!

BART

Come on guys take that light from my eyes!

A shadow approaches behind the light. It’s VLADIMIR PUTIN wearing a Karate uniform, with a head scarf.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

So you are the ones!

BART

Erm... so that means you are the others!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Shut up kid! I can’t stand jokes.

Can you see me laughing? Can you?

Who told you to build that rocket?

BART
No one.

MILHOUSE

Well, Principal Skinner gave me

a hard suggestion (rubs his head).

VLADIMIR PUTIN pushes PRINCIPAL SKINNER from the dark side of the room. SKINNER is tied up and he is in underwear.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

This principal?

BART

Nice boxers Skinner! (laughs)

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

I didn’t suggest anything! Mr Putin,

if you think you can come to our city

and take over our school you are very wrong!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Oh damn Rasputin!

I forgot to take over the school.

VLADIMIR PUTIN snap his fingers.

EXT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DAY

A RUSSIAN SOLDIER climbs the flag post of the school very quickly and changes the American flag into a Russian flag.

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL CLASS ROOM DAY

VLADIMIR PUTIN

It’s done! This school is now part of the great Russian empire.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

Just like that?!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

We are quick.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

You can’t do this?!

(Epic) Soon the President will know

and America will stand up to save us!

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Don’t worry about that. I already told him.

MILHOUSE

Did you call the President?

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Who does that these days?!

I post it on facebook.

He’s sending someone to defeat me.

INT WHITE HOUSE OVAL OFFICE DAY

BARAK OBAMA is standing in front of his desk trying to convince MATTHEW BRODERICK who is sat on a chair just in front.

BARAK OBAMA

Come on Mr Broderick, you can do it again

just like you did in 1983.

MATTHEW BRODERICK takes a small baby blue blanket from the pocket and starts caressing his own face nervously.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

Sorry Mr President, erm...

my relations with the Russians are done.

Life has changed... Erm... I want to be a producer.

BARAK OBAMA takes a pen from his pocket.

BARAK OBAMA

Look Mr Broderick... I can give you a Parker.

MATTHEW BRODERICK

I already have one!

MATTHEW BRODERICK run and jumps through the Office window.

BARAK OBAMA

Oh well... I’ll call Bruce Wayne again.

EXT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL DAY

CAPTAIN AMERICA rides a bicycle on the way to the Springfield Elementary School while singing Steppenwolfs’Born to be Wild in a very untuned way. He stops just in front of the Elementary School.

CAPTAIN AMERICA (SHOUTS)

Hey Putin! Come outside if you are a man!

Putin comes out very calm and applies a single Kata move to CAPTAIN AMERICA, putting him immediately out of order.

VLADIMIR PUTIN

Done! (shouts to the sky)

Come on Yankees!

Send me more of this for breakfast.

VLADIMIR PUTIN returns inside the School. THE COMIC BOOK GUY comes down the street and sees Captain America’s shield.

THE COMIC BOOK GUY

Am I dreaming?! Oh am I dreaming?!

The COMIC BOOK GUY runs to the shield, holds it and picks a five dollar note from the ground.

THE COMIC BOOK GUY

Five bucks! I’m not dreaming!

The COMIC BOOK GUY throws the Captain America shield away.

THE COMIC BOOK GUY

Stupid Frisbee!

He passes over CAPTAIN AMERICA all messed up, laying on the ground.

CAPTAIN AMERICA (IN EFFORT)
Hey you...

THE COMIC BOOK GUY

Finders keepers!

THE COMIC BOOK GUY runs away.

INT SIMPSON’S HOME KITCHEN NIGHT

MARGE is serving the dinner. LISA, HOMER and MAGGIE are sat waiting for the food.

MARGE

Oh Homie I’m worried.

Bart should be home by now.

HOMER

It’s just the first day of the holidays.

The door bell rings.

MARGE

Oh it must be him.

Go there and tell him off Homer.

He need to follow the house rules.

HOMER stands up to go to open the door.

HOMER

Ok... Ok...

Now you going to hear me... Erm... I think...

What Should I say? Erm... Doh.

INT SIMPSON’S MAIN ROOM NIGHT

HOMER opens the front door. Two FBI guys are at the door.

FBI GUY 1

Erm... Homer Simpson? FBI.

HOMER

Oh my God...

I pay my tickets...

I pay my tickets.

FBI GUY 1

Mr Simpson... I don’t know what you are talking about.

HOMER

Oh... The donuts! The donuts!

Where I’m going to hide?!

FBI GUY 2

You can’t hide now.

You have a visitor.

LOUIS ARMSTRONG comes in playing "Hail To The Chief" on his trumpet with a great jazzy final while BARAK OBAMA appears at the door.

BARAK OBAMA
Nice tune Bro!

LOUIS ARMSTRONG laughs, gives a High five to BARAK OBAMA and leaves. BARAK OBAMA turns to HOMER.

BARAK OBAMA

Hi Homie! Do you have extra dinner?!

HOMER

Now wait a minute!

I’m not going to share my dinner!

BARAK OBAMA

I’m afraid you have to.

I was informed of what you did.

We are moving in here to solve this crisis.

HOMER
We?

MICHELLE OBAMA enters from outside followed by MALIA and NATASHA. MARGE comes from the kitchen.

MARGE

Did you tell him off... wow... Mr President?!

BARAK OBAMA
Hi Margy!

HOMER

Erm... They are coming erm... to dinner.

MICHELLE OBAMA

No, no, no. We are coming to stay.

MICHELLE walks to MARGE and holds her hands.

MICHELLE OBAMA

We are going to be best friends!

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL LIBRARY NIGHT

BART and MILHOUSE are locked in the library.

MILHOUSE

This is awesome!

Can you believe it?

We are locked on the library.

BART

How can you be happy?

We are prisoners...

and prisoners in the school. (sighs)

Oh man I thought the worst day of my life was past.

MILHOUSE

Skinner is not so lucky.

He’s locked in the cleaning closet.

He doesn’t have anybody to talk to.

INT SPRINGFIELD ELEMENTARY CLEANING CLOSET NIGHT

SKINNER is sat on a bucket talking to a cleaning MOP.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

...and then she lit a cigarette

and asked me in sweet mellow voice,

hey babe can you offer me a drink...

VLADIMIR PUTIN bangs the door from outside.

VLADIMIR PUTIN (O.S.)

Can you shut up!?

I’m trying to organize an invasion here!

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

Oh you there... Sorry about the inconvenience,

in the meantime, can I go to the toilet...

VLADIMIR PUTIN (O.S.)

You have a bucket there.

PRINCIPAL SKINNER

Oh yes... What I was thinking... (giggles)

I’m sat on it.

Oh well... (To the mop)

Where was I in my story?

The MOP gains life and shouts to PRINCIPAL SKINNER.

MOP

Did you not hear the man?

Shut up!

(To Putin) Hey comrade,

can I get out of here?

The door opens and the MOP jumps out of the closet.

MOP

Really...

I prefer to watch the cleaning products channel.

At least I can see some brushes...

INT SIMPSON’S MAIN ROOM NIGHT

HOMER is sat on the sofa while BARAK OBAMA tells him off.

BARAK OBAMA

Your son is in danger because you were irresponsible.

HOMER

I’m sorry Mr President...

BARAK OBAMA

No... No... don’t need that. Just call me Bama.

HOMER
OK Bummer.

BARAK OBAMA

Erm... Is better, you keep calling me, Mr President.

HOMER

Well decide yourself. I’m so confused.

(beat) I need a beer.

BARAK OBAMA

Do you have chips?

HOMER

Yes... But they are mine!

BARAK OBAMA

Come on, I can save your kid.

HOMER

For a pack of chips?

BARAK OBAMA

And a beer.

HOMER

You politicians!

Why do I believe you?

You lie all the time!

BARAK OBAMA

No, please. Don’t go that way.

Think about us differently...

Starts a patriotic tune (kind of election campaign anthem) which goes in crescendo. The lights dim, and a spotlight surrounds BARAK OBAMA.

BARAK OBAMA (CONT)

...We can work hard everyday

to support our fellow citizens

and some other interesting people.

We can provide security and education

for all the children and soccer fans,

We can make people happy.

Look at me Homie!

We can even recover your kid.

(triumphant) We can win this fight!

HOMER sheds a tear in emotion. The patriotic tune stops abruptly, the spotlight disappears and the lights go back to normal.

HOMER

God bless America!

BARAK OBAMA

Can we have a beer now?

HOMER stands up euphoric.

HOMER

Yes we can!

BARAK OBAMA
UH! UH!